Getting saved when you come from a Christian family is kind of confusing, you know you are supposed to do it, and you end up doing it so many times, but it’s only the last one that counts, right?
The last time I gave my life to Christ was in 2010, I remember feeling like a burden lifted from my body. Nothing really changed after then, I still didn’t read my Bible, and although I did go to church, I wasn’t in church.
In 2011, I decided personally that I wanted to do better as a Christian so I started to read my Bible, I can’t say I understood what I read but I read it anyway. I joined a singing group called “saints in worship” and while I was on holidays, I sang in the choir.
I love to sing and more than that I love to hear people sing, that was my real motive for joining both groups but God had another motive. In church, I got to hear about God, in “saints in worship”, I got to experience faith. They spoke in tongues, gave unbelievable testimonies, like ‘I was sick and God healed me’, ‘I was broke and God sent someone to provide for me’. We were always urged to try it out, I tried God with provision once. I gave 500 out of my last 1000 in offering then my old teacher happened to be in my university that week, and gave me 1000.
For the other experiences and testimonies, I was on the outside looking in, always wondering why I couldn’t speak in tongues, although, I have to admit I was afraid of the Holy Spirit for a long time, they always said you had to be open to him, I was but I didn’t want something jumping on me. I also wondered why I didn’t experience healing even though I really needed it at the time. I was frustrated but I kept on going, I’m not sure why.
As time went on, I started believing God more, for little things, big things and crazy things. But I have come to realize that my Christian journey is a lot more than faith, there is also a place for salvation.
Before now, I believed that salvation ended when I gave my life to christ, but salvation is about surrender. How do you surrender the parts of your life that have been so repressed it feels like an episode of another person’s story?
My new understanding of salvation is God working in a dark room and bringing to light all the parts of you, repressed or open, like a photographer bringing pictures out a film. Salvation is not complete until we allow God’s light expose every part of us.
I used to think if those repressed memories don’t matter to me, then why would they matter to God. The truth is that every part of us; our experiences, traumas and memories define who we are. How can God save what we won’t even admit?
Salvation is an ongoing process, it will be hard but it’s necessary to live in the purpose that God has called each and every one of us to.
Let there be light!